“We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?”
Shocking Auction Melee Ruffles Feather Boas
It took around 25 to 30 police officers from Oakland, Emeryville and Berkeley, and the California State Police to break up an out-of-control party in Oakland late Saturday night (well… it was late by ‘parents of young children’ standards. It was dark.)
According to a police report, the party, a seemingly innocent fundraising auction benefitting Peralta Elementary School, spun out of control when revelers realized that even though they were only given one drink with their admission ticket, they could buy extra 1930s style cocktails in exchange for strange pieces of paper and metal some referred to as ‘cash’.
When, in response to noise complaints, officers tried to break up the party, organizers Stacy and Peter Kozakavich hopped into a TARDIS and disappeared into the night, leaving behind a stunned crew of fellow partygoers and officers. Presumably, they fled to continue their important work to save civilizations and help other people desperately in need of a good time.
Deputy Chief Michael Gonzales of the Oakland Police Department said that although pair were on probation at the time of the party and forced to wear GPS trackers, he doubts that they will be found. “I mean, jeez, we had no idea they were Time Lords. Where would we even start? In what era?”
Gonzales affirmed that no partygoers, neighbors or officers suffered from anything life-threatening. They may have missed some sleep, but there will be no long term harm. “They'll be fine," he said, before adding hopefully, “Same time, next year?”